How to Swear at People in French.

WARNING: In case the title didn't give it away, there will most certainly be some bad language in this post.

One of the most important things you need to figure out when learning a new language is how to properly insult people, know when you are being insulted, and just curse at everything in general. Useful in a wide range of situations, from stubbing your toe to being denied bisous (this is, after all France)

So, with no further ado... les gros mots ('swear words' are called 'big words' in french. don't ask me why :P)

Let's start with the basics.

FRENCH                                                                                                                         ENGLISH

what to say when

Life sucks.

Merde (mayrd)	Shit
Putain (poo-tahn)	Fuck! (actually translates as ‘whore!’ but they say it like we say fuck.
Ca me fait chier	That pisses me off (literal translation: that makes me want to shit!)
Je m’en fou	I don’t give a fuck
Je m’en branle	I don’t care (note: branler is jacking off. So, don’t say this to teachers).
Je suis niqué	I’m fucked.
C’est des conneries/saloperies!	It’s bullshit/ bitchiness!
Foutu bordel	Fucking mess

People suck, and you're talking ABOUT them.

Connard connasse	Jerk/ dumbass (masculine) Dumb/cunt (feminine)
salope sale salope	Bitch (feminine) nasty bitch
pute	Whore/ slut (feminine)
Fils de pute	Son of a bitch/ whore
Con conne	Idiot/ass/stupid (masculine) “”   (feminine)
Tête de bite	Dick head (masculine)

People suck, and you're talking TO them. 

Casse-toi Cassez-vous		Fuck off (singular) Fuck off (plural)
Va te faire foutre		Go fuck yourself.
Barre-toi		Get the fuck out. (singular)
Ne fais pas le con		Don’t be a dumbass
Ta guele Ferme ta putain de guele.		Shut up ! Shut your whore/fucking mouth.
Te me casses les couilles		You’re bustin my balls.
Suce ma bite		Suck my dick
Vas sucer des bites en enfer.		Go suck dick in hell.
Léche-moi…		Lick my…
	bite		dick
	couilles		balls
	cul		ass
	trou de cul		ass hole
T’es vraimenet trop con.		You’re really fucking stupid.
Nique ta mere		Fuck your mother
Enculé ta mere		Fuck your mother up the ass.

Ok, that should be about as not classy as it gets here. Hope that covers just about every situation you'll ever come across ;).